Peace in Divorce
There are conflicting views on God's commands regarding divorce and countless books
defending their positions on biblical interpretations of the contract we know as marriage.
Is divorce appropriate? How do we reconcile God's commandments with a situation that
seems hopeless and perhaps out of your control?
I understand that being a Christian and going through a divorce involves feelings of both
guilt and betrayal, not just towards the person you made a promise to, but towards God.
You may be feeling overwhelmed with so many emotions. What I hope to do as
your mediator is to bring peace, help you to find common ground and focus on healing
for your entire family, rather than to serve up judgment to a difficult situation.
Fifteen years ago, when I began looking for a job as an attorney, I felt led to a family
law office. I remember struggling to reconcile my personal beliefs with this area of law.
I grew up with a firm belief that "God hates divorce." How then could I be a party to
ending the marriages of once happy couples, in what seemed counter to my beliefs.
Still, my feet were firmly planted.
What changed for me was my view of the role I played in this process. As I continued
to help couples and individuals, I began to see how God could use me to help families.
What frustrated me most about family law litigation was the destruction of families, not
just a marriage. Whether consciously or unconsciously, I saw parties filing declarations
to gain an advantage over their spouse, oblivious to how this would impact their children.
I saw children being pawns in their parents' chess match. I saw families torn apart. For
many parents, they felt like they had no choice but to defend themselves. There are,
in fact, many cases where a strong advocate is necessary to protect a party and uphold
the law. Many parents, however, wished they had another alternative to a litigious system.
When I learned about and began to train in mediation and collaborative law, I felt a new
sense of hope. In a mediation or collaborative setting, clients are coached towards agreement and away from contentious actions. The parties agree that they WILL NOT FIGHT IN COURT. Instead, the parties agree to listen to one another, respect one another and compromise. They agree to a peaceful process. Bringing peace is what I hope to be able to do for the couples or individuals who hire me. Divorce is a reality for many, and often times, unavoidable. In those instances, I am here to walk you and your spouse through the process, with a commitment to protect your family so you can co-exist and co-parent cooperatively.
